Today is Notsome, and I officially have a Petunia

Today's been pretty notsome.

Today, I learned that some eighth grade bitches (forgive my language, I'm angry) I don't even know made fun of my "dancing with air" thing at the dance. I wonder if they realize I was making fun of them, the ones who think they aren't worth crap without their boyfriend (who only likes them for their body (*cough*JAMES POTTER*cough) and easy-to-get-into-the-pants-of-ness)and bright orange spray tan.

Here's the best part. I learned that my COUSIN (who is a muggle and has SERIOUS ego issues) was amongst the spray-tanned airheaded individuals mocking my display of sheer awesome. So, yes, she's be forgetting to be awesome lately, and yes, she's been hanging around some of the worst types of muggles imaginable... But she's FAMILY. And I would've expected her to at least be a bit loyal to me. And yes, while I still love her like family should... Really? REALLY?!? Two galleons says that if my future husband and I ever died when our kid was still a baby and she was forced to take him in, he'd live in a cupboard under the stairs untill Hogwarts starts writing them and saying they know he lives under the stairs.

And you wonder why I've been considering moving across the country to the one really warm place with cowboys to live with my dad.

Marauders in my yard?

My magic brings animaguses to the yard and they're like, where's the flying car?

Ok, that last part was COMPLETELY irrelevant. I just needed something that rhymed.

Anyway, today, my mom spotted A RAT in our driveway.

Now, my mother and I are very meticulous and neat people, so we knew that the rat was not because of us, but our neighbor who has neglected mowing her lawn for so fraking long, it is actually up to my thighs. Thank GOD we're moving!

Anyway, you may or may not know that the only two animals I truly detest are rats and pigeons. Rats, mostly because I'm reminded of that, well, rat, Peter Pettigrew, as well as their general creepy-filty-backstabbing-vermin demeanor.

As for pigeons... Well, that's another story for another time.

So, I naturally couldn't help thinking "PETTIGREW!!! That scum's here to spy on me, make sure I never get my Hogwarts letter..." And then I began reflecting on other times when I believe I've been visited by a marauder.

PRONGS: In our old house, we had all of this woods behind us. Often, we'd look out and see a cluster of about three or so deer. It doesn't stop there. In our current house, when driving, we often see deer out. We no longer have a forest, let alone many trees, in our yard, so I really don't expect to see a deer actually in my yard.

PADFOOT: One day, a big black dog came up to our back door. No ID or anything. He just sat there and looked up at me through the window in the door. Unfortunately, my dad wouldn't let Sirius in, no matter how much I begged an pleaded.

You now understand what my psychologist deals with on a regular basis.

Thanks to school, R-E-L-A-X is a word I'll never learn to pronounce.

I think I have grown too used to school. I bet on the first monday (I feel this utterly forsaken day of the week is unworthy of my capitalization) of summer, I'll wake up early, eat breakfast, and walk to the bus stop. Then, after hours of waiting for a bus that will never come, I'll realize it's summer.

School's worked me to the BONE. Knowing my luck (or lack of thereof) I honestly doubt I'll be able to accept the glorious fact that I'll have every day off of school for the next three months untill the day school starts back up.

Every time I ask myself if there's something I want to do over the summer, it goes something like this:

Voice #1: Hey! You should go to the park tonight with some friends and catch fireflies!

Voice #2: I can't, I have school tommorrow, and besides, I don't have friends.

Voice #1: Dude, it's summer.

Voice #2: SERIOUSLY?!?!

Voice #1: *sigh* Yes, it's summer. That means you can stay up as late as you want.

Voice #2: What am I supposed to do about the friends thing?

Voice #1:...

Voice #2: Um, hello? Are you there?

Voice #1: You know, I'll get back to you on that one. Maybe. Just scroll the Facebook newsfeed untill something happens.

And now you know what the conversations between my voices sound like. And what my summers are like.

I will never be relaxed or social

I think I have grown too used to school. I bet on the first monday (I feel this utterly forsaken day of the week is unworthy of my capitalization) of summer, I'll wake up early, eat breakfast, and walk to the bus stop. Then, after hours of waiting for a bus that will never come, I'll realize it's summer.

School's worked me to the BONE. Knowing my luck (or lack of thereof) I honestly doubt I'll be able to accept the glorious fact that I'll have every day off of school for the next three months untill the day school starts back up.

Every time I ask myself if there's something I want to do over the summer, it goes something like this:

Voice #1: Hey! You should go to the park tonight with some friends and catch fireflies!

Voice #2: I can't, I have school tommorrow, and besides, I don't have friends.

Voice #1: Dude, it's summer.

Voice #2: SERIOUSLY?!?!

Voice #1: *sigh* Yes, it's summer. That means you can stay up as late as you want.

Voice #2: What am I supposed to do about the friends thing?

Voice #1:...

Voice #2: Um, hello? Are you there?

Voice #1: You know, I'll get back to you on that one. Maybe. Just scroll the Facebook newsfeed untill something happens.

And now you know what the conversations between my voices sound like. And what my summers are like.